How not to practice spanish

Overheard a loud, what could only presumably have been a American man from the south (probably Texas, just sayin'), practially YELL at his waitress "Mrs. Senorita! I need to us El BANO!" She pointed him in the right direction and he responded with a resounding "BUENOS Gracias buenos GRACIAS!!!!" At least he's trying, but there were so many things wrong with his approach. Like the fact that he was grabbing his crotch the entire time like a four year old child.